The comfort zone is so-named for a reason. It’s secure and familiar – a cosy place to relax to escape from some of the nasty things going on in the world. The problem is that really good literature should draw us away from this happy place. It should challenge our world view and show us new perspectives that make us feel decidedly uncomfortable. It should be free to take on societal taboos and face them square-on.
Black Box does exactly this. Written by New York Times bestselling author Cassia Leo, it takes on the trauma of a victim of an unspeakable crime, and her entirely rational desire to end her life. Mikki suffered a horrific attack in her teens which left her with scars so deep that they overwhelmed her entire life. Attacked by a group of men, physically and sexually assaulted, and then left for dead, she survived only due to the intervention of another victim of a trauma, this one very different. Rescuing her from her near-fatal fate prevented the young musician Crush from ending his own life.
Their meeting was entirely coincidental, but they keep running into each other, intervening at the crucial moment that prevents them from taking the final fatal step. This final time sees them meet at Logan Airport in Boston as their flight to Los Angeles is cancelled due to bad weather. Mikki, having left notes to her family and settled her affairs was prepared to end her life in the Pacific Ocean but the delay and Crush’s intervention means that she is stuck in Boston for a few days. What follows is a whirlwind romance, but also a deep and sometimes brutal examination of what it means to live with a traumatic event.
The theme of the story is the feeling of lost control. The assault on Mikki did not just leave her emotionally brutalized; it ripped away her means to control her own life. Her loss of power of attorney meant that she had legally lost the right to make her own decisions but she had also lost it in a more primal sense. To exist she has to take meds by the handful and even this does not aid her fully. In order to claw back some feeling of control she resorts to actions such as self-belittlement, self-harm, and attempted suicide.
At the core of this novel is the question: what do you do when the only rational course is to end your life? What is the point of living a life that has been ruined? How do you overcome an event that has come to define your entire existence? What is decidedly unnerving about this novel is that you find yourself siding with Mikki on her desire to kill herself. Cassia Leo does an amazing job of conveying not just Mikki’s fragility and vulnerability but also her strength. For her ending her life is not the coward’s way out at all, it is just something that she must do.
I have not spent much of this review so far talking about the other half of this story. Crush (not his birth name), unlike Mikki has, to an extent at least, been able to deal with the trauma of his past and has determined to save her life in the same way that she, unknowingly, saved his. He comes from a world of wealth but has come to resent the privilege that comes with it, and he recognises in Mikki both a kindred spirit but also the intervention of fate – a supernatural force that keeps bringing them together and binding their destinies. Caring, methodical, and understanding, Crush provides Mikki with the support that she never truly got from her family or carers, and thus ignites from this story of trauma and loss, a love story that is tender, raw and dazzling.
Much like The Fault in our Stars, this is a love story set in a scene where normally one would only expect pain. It takes something on that would and should intimidate a lesser writer, but Cassia Leo rises to the task brilliantly. The eponymous Black Box of the story represents many things, but most of all that place in our souls where we shut in all of our deepest fears and most painful experiences. Yet that box can never be truly locked away; it is always leaking that darkness into our lives and it is only by feeling it and sharing it allows one to move on.
Leo spent much time during writing this book with sufferer of traumas much like Mikki and Crush and this shines though. It is never preaching, nor does it patronise. Well-researched and beautifully written, Black Box leaves you feeling numb from its brutal honesty and its exposure of the vulnerability of the human soul. The author has clearly poured her heart and soul into this book, producing something truly remarkable – a story that will stay with me forever.
9/10
I would like to thank Transworld Publishers for giving me a free copy of this book to review on Net Galley.
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Favourite Quotes
“This black box is yours to keep, to stash your troubles away. Just lock it up and call my name and I'll be there always.”
“Fate is death. No one escapes it. But if you stick around long enough, you might find someone to help you cheat fate for a while. And when you can’t cheat anymore, and fate finally catches up to you, maybe it won’t seem so scary with that someone by your side.”
“Fear is crippling. Fear of the future can convince us that there is no way out and nothing is ever going to get better. Fear is blinding; it can make us miss the warning signs flashing right in front of our eyes. It can also make you miss those brilliant flashes of color, when the world isn’t so gray. But, if you think about it, being afraid isn’t such a bad thing."
“Fate is for fairy tales. It’s a romantic notion. Luck is what happens when you’re in the right place at the right time … with the right person.”
